Chapter one

It all started back in 1899 when my great-great-grandmother traded a mule for a toilet. It wasn't a modern toilet. It was made of wood. So my great-great-grandmother sits on the tiolet and gets a splinter. The way to cure splinters back then was to sqeeze a lemon on it. So she sat on the tiolet and squeezed a lemon on her splinter. The lemons all fell in the toilet. But, the mule that she traded for the toilet was angry at being traded so it hit the toilet. A few years ago my family found that very same toilet in a dumpster. But, it just so happened that the great-great-grandson of the mule that was traded for a toilet in 1899 was with us and he recognized the toilet and sat on it. All of the lemons fell out. These lemons attracted a bug which carried a disease called Skolio Tiskist. Skolio Tiskist is a disease where you get boils all over your face. My mother got Skolio Tiskist and the cure to Skolio Tiskist is to squeeze a lemon on your boil. So my mother squeezed a lemon in her eye. But the lemons my mother used attracted more bugs and more Skolio Tiskist and soon my entire family got Skolio Tiskist. So we all squeezed lemons in our eyes. And quickly the entire town got Skolio Tiskist. One boy, named Billy, was squeezing a lemon on his boils when he got lemon in his eye. He went to the doctor.
"Doctor, what's wrong with me?" Billy asked.
"You have Skolio Tiskist" said the doctor.
"But, my eye?" Billy inquired.
"Oh yes, you have a lemon in your eye."
"What do I do?"
"Squeeze a lemon in your eye, of course." the doctor responded.
So Billy sat on his toilet all day and all night squeezing a lemon in your eye. He put all of the lemons in the toilet. But Billy's toilet was small and it soon exploded. At that very moment a chinese guy walked by and saw all the lemons. He said that the were worth a million dollars each. So Billy became a billionaire and married a girl named Sally. Now the funny thing about Sally was that she crossed the fery at exactly 7:30 each morning. The next day, at 7:30, there was an earthquake and Billy thought that Sally had fallen to her death. He died of grief the next day. But Sally was wearing an umbrella skirt ,which was the style in 1937, and she floated into the sky. While Sally was in the sky, she met a knid baloonest named Zachary. Zachary loved Sally and he gave her his favourite pidgeon, Jimmy. But, Jimmy hated Sally so he broke her umbrella skirt. Sally fell down and down into the ocean. She swam for seven days until she finnaly found Cuba. Now, the first person she met in Cuba was a steel drummer named Marley Jimbo. Marley Jimbo had a monkey named Audrey who loved pinnaples. One day Audrey died of eating to many pinnaples. Marley Jimbo blamed Sally and he threugh her in the ocean.